By Alan Goldsher, George R. R. Washington
A PARODY OF THE loved fable DOORSTOP… ER, SAGA
In the land of the 8 (or used to be it Six?) Kingdoms—where the seasons last up to a chain of bestselling Tolkien-esque novels—trouble is brewing. The dust is becoming muddier, the onions are rotting, the Wall to the North (or is it the South?) is melting, and Lord Barker of Summerseve is getting apprehensive. His spouse is hooked on Godsweede, his King is just too fats to slot into his armor, and the foreshadowing is uncontrolled. All in all, now not the placement you must be in while summer time is coming.
From this global of out of doors fornication with horse-people (and indoor fornication with blood relations) comes an epic tale of novella proportions. Amid plots and counterplots, power-hungry warriors and overworked ravens, bad reception and no instant, the way forward for the Barkers, their BFFs, and their enemies dangles within the stability, as each one strives to outlive lengthy sufficient to seem in at the very least of the sequels.
“His enamel can be wood, yet his prose is not.”
George R. R. Washington can't inform a lie: A video game of Groans was once now not ready, approved, approved, authorized, or counseled by way of anyone or entity enthusiastic about developing or generating any of the track of Ice and hearth books or the Games of Throne tv application. Please direct any questions to our criminal counsel, Clarence R. R. Darrow.
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About the Author
Anthony Rubino, Jr. (New York, long island) is a author and cartoonist who combines humor, artwork, and dad tradition to create nonsense of the best quality. And as a contributor to silly, Cracked, and nationwide Lampoon, Rubino understands much approximately nonsense.
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Additional resources for A Game of Groans: A Sonnet of Slush and Soot
I would see the boy, Jazzica," the crone rasped. "I'll... fetch him, Your Revved-Uppedness," Jazzica replied. Jazzica curtseyed and left. As befitted her Boni Maroni training, she made optimum use of the walk to the boy's bedroom to think about what was happening that very instant in the times of her life. She comes to administer the Test, she thought. He is capable, my son, and should perform admirably. Yet even the capable are capable—of failure! This stabbed a single question unbidden at her consciousness.
The Revved-Up Mother scowled. "There is more! " Her eye sparkled with intensity. "We seek to refine Taste. We separate humans of discernment from the masses of humanity. There are two kinds of beings in this universe, boy: the select, and the mob. " Pall said nothing, yet inwardly felt a stirring. The woman's words struck a chord deep within his innermost sense of things inside his self. He knew he was special—and that most of the others he met were not. And now this queer old witch spoke of the select...
All the major cities're built on such areas—" "—because the brown sugars're firmly packed," Pall said. " "The Mahdl-T will know your world as if he had already lived there during a junior year abroad," went the legend. Keynes shook his head, then said, "Where we're headed, out into the Great White Way, the ground is trickier—confectioner's pits, bowls, cube ranges. And, of course, the Big Rock Candy Mountains. " Pall asked. " Gurnsey Halvah tuned a string on his rickenbacker, then sang softly: "Who be the man who wants to roam Across a field of sugar fine, Only to be smashed to death and ground into little pieces By a gigantic pretzel?
A Game of Groans: A Sonnet of Slush and Soot by Alan Goldsher, George R. R. Washington